1. Getting slapped at the Metro, by the Metro, twice.
So, after navigating the metro yesterday morning, Kim and Cheryl thought they could handle taking their bags on the subway to change hotels. They were mostly right. As the duo arrived at the metro station, suitcases in tow, clever Kim noted the entry lane labelled with a suitcase and pointed out that perhaps this would be the ideal location for them to swipe their cards and leisurely stroll through the gate. Defiant Cheryl guffawed at the idea of using a special lane and proceeded to not-so-gracefully swipe her pass and fumble through gate unscathed, at which point she heard a surprised yelp from her comrade. Clever Kimberly, following defiant Cheryl, had not been so lucky as to pass through the jaws of the metro unharmed. Before clever Kim had the chance to gracefully glide through the gate, menacing sharp-toothed metal (plastic) claws descended upon her legs, blocking her way. The ever so friendly (sarcasm) metro employee hurried over to quite politely and gently (sarcasm) guide clever Kimberly, in perfect English (sarcasm), through none other than...the luggage lane. The moral of the story? Hurry up or, better yet, act cleverly in the first place. But never fear, clever Kim escaped with only a small bruise and a subtle fear of the metro entrance. Thus ends slap #1.
Slap #2: A slap heard 'round the world.
As mentioned above, to enter the metro, one must swipe one's card at the gate and wait for the green light. If all does not go as planned, the gates close to prevent one from entering. In case #2 of Kim versus the metro, unfortunately the metro wins again. However, instead of the steely spikes in slap #1, she experienced the blunt force of plexiglas on the knee and elbow. Luckily she's survived to tell the tale (i.e. co-author this part of the blog entry); however, the physical retaliation of the metro has put the fear of God into us both. :-)
2. Smacking a police officer then running away. This isn't as bad as it sounds and I didn't smack him intentionally. Kim and I were walking back to the hotel after a very long day and I suppose I wasn't quite as spatially aware as I should've been. I was swinging my arms and swung the left one hard into someone. I turned around to see who I'd assaulted, and it was, of course, a police officer. Luckily he wasn't upset and we were able to scurry away without invoking the wrath of the Russian police. Phew. I was a little worried he'd march over and start going us a hard time.
3. Witnessing an incessant yelling fit by an irate Chinese woman in front of one of the main tourist attractions. This includes the arm smack laid down by her fed-up husband. This all took place at our tour group's meeting place. When we arrived a woman (not in our group) was yelling angrily at about five men sitting on the edge of a monument. She continued to yell for a good five minutes before wandering over to a man on the other side of the monument, assumedly her husband. They exchanged some angry words and as she went to return to her original spot, the man gave her a good slap on the arm. This didn't prevent her from continuing to make a scene. The group agreed that she was very entertaining in a "we're embarrassed for you" kind of way.
4. Sweating our butts off last night because we didn't realize we had air conditioning. Enough said. Four-and-a-half university degrees don't get you much common sense sometimes. (I did a happy dance when I discovered a remote with the words "fan" and "cool" on it.) Our second night sleeping was much cooler than the first.
5. Being a tourist. Today was our hardest day yet, and it falls under the "ouch" category as our feet were ready to fall off by the time we got back to the hotel.
We started the day off by heading out on the metro to see some amazing skyscrapers, three of seven similar buildings nicknamed the Seven Sisters. They were built by Stalin to fill Moscow's skyscraper gap, as he felt Moscow was lagging in this department when compared to America. While the seven are quite similar, each has it's own character. They have also been nicknamed the wedding cakes due to the tiers and the icing-like look of the stonework. So far we have seen five of the seven, including the Ministry of Foreign Affairs, the Transport Ministry, a couple of hotels, and Moscow University. One of these buildings was also the site of our first and only geocache find (as of now) in Moscow.
After a morning on our own, we met up with our tour group and headed in to see the old preserved corpse of Lenin. We all kind of wondered at the irony of the whole situation and why the Russian people would idolize a man who started off one of the darker periods of their history. Nonetheless this was a very unique experience. We'd all read scary tidbits about the viewing: no talking, don't put your hands in your pockets, no stopping as you walk by...and we could take nothing but a wallet in with us. The line was surprisingly short and quick moving. In just a few minutes we'd descended into the dimly lit mausoleum and were making our way around an almost 100 year old dead body. (Lenin died of a stroke in 1924 and has been resting in the Red Square ever since, save a quick vacation in Siberia during WWII.) He looked quite fake, straight out of a Madame Tussaud wax museum. I almost expected Michael Jackson or Elvis to be around the corner. Lenin's left hand looked a little worse for wear, but all in all his wipe down every few days and almost yearly wax and chemical treatment have been doing him well. It felt like we blew through the mausoleum, but I was ok with that. I didn't need to stare at a pickled body for any longer than that. We were lucky to get in as it had been closed for about two weeks before our arrival.
Next we headed into the Red Square and received a mini history lesson from our dynamic and knowledgeable local tour guide Olga. She pointed out the buildings around the Red Square (more on some of those later) and explained some of the more pivotal moments in Russian history. She was very easy to listen to, despite our aching feet and sweating brows.
Then off to the Kremlin. Kremlin is the Russian word for fortress. The one in Moscow consists of a high redbrick wall with about 20 guard towers. Inside are many churches and government buildings (the parliament, the senate, the president's offices). Also here is the world's largest bell, commissioned by Russian empress Anna Ivanovna in the 1730s. As the bell was cooling, cold water was poured on it and an 11-ton chunk broke off. As a result it has never rung. Beside the Tsar Bell is the Tsar Cannon, which funny enough has never been fired. There is a pile of cannon balls in front of it; however, they are just for show as they are too big to actually fit in the cannon.
When walking around the Kremlin you have to stick to the sidewalks and roped in areas; otherwise, military men with loud whistles and fancy batons will wave and flail until you get back in bounds. None of us discovered this the hard way, although it was amusing to watch other tourists get put in their place. :-)
Our final stop in the Kremlin was the Armoury, a collection of the most precious treasures in all of Russia. There were many formal coronation dresses, thrones, carriages, obviously lots of armour and weapons, and other treasures belonging and given to the royalty. Kim and I were most excited to see the Fabergé eggs, bejeweled Easter eggs exchanged by the tsar and tsarina at Easter. The tour was amazing, but by this point our feet were aching and we were tired, thirsty, and hungry.
After a quick stop to refuel, Kim and I headed off to find another of the Seven Sisters, an adventure that ended in an extremely long walk home. We made it back to the hotel and crashed.
Tomorrow we are off to Suzdal by bus. More to come after our relaxing stay in this important historical town.
Pictures below include two of the Seven Sisters, the Russian police in the Red Square, the Tsar Bell that has never rung, and a very exhausted Kim and Cheryl by the Moscow River.
TTFN
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