Day 3, Moscow: Ouch!

We have both witnessed and experienced many painful things today and in the last few days. Here goes:

1. Getting slapped at the Metro, by the Metro, twice.
So, after navigating the metro yesterday morning, Kim and Cheryl thought they could handle taking their bags on the subway to change hotels. They were mostly right. As the duo arrived at the metro station, suitcases in tow, clever Kim noted the entry lane labelled with a suitcase and pointed out that perhaps this would be the ideal location for them to swipe their cards and leisurely stroll through the gate. Defiant Cheryl guffawed at the idea of using a special lane and proceeded to not-so-gracefully swipe her pass and fumble through gate unscathed, at which point she heard a surprised yelp from her comrade. Clever Kimberly, following defiant Cheryl, had not been so lucky as to pass through the jaws of the metro unharmed. Before clever Kim had the chance to gracefully glide through the gate, menacing sharp-toothed metal (plastic) claws descended upon her legs, blocking her way. The ever so friendly (sarcasm) metro employee hurried over to quite politely and gently (sarcasm) guide clever Kimberly, in perfect English (sarcasm), through none other than...the luggage lane. The moral of the story? Hurry up or, better yet, act cleverly in the first place. But never fear, clever Kim escaped with only a small bruise and a subtle fear of the metro entrance. Thus ends slap #1.

Slap #2: A slap heard 'round the world.
As mentioned above, to enter the metro, one must swipe one's card at the gate and wait for the green light. If all does not go as planned, the gates close to prevent one from entering. In case #2 of Kim versus the metro, unfortunately the metro wins again. However, instead of the steely spikes in slap #1, she experienced the blunt force of plexiglas on the knee and elbow. Luckily she's survived to tell the tale (i.e. co-author this part of the blog entry); however, the physical retaliation of the metro has put the fear of God into us both. :-)

2. Smacking a police officer then running away. This isn't as bad as it sounds and I didn't smack him intentionally. Kim and I were walking back to the hotel after a very long day and I suppose I wasn't quite as spatially aware as I should've been. I was swinging my arms and swung the left one hard into someone. I turned around to see who I'd assaulted, and it was, of course, a police officer. Luckily he wasn't upset and we were able to scurry away without invoking the wrath of the Russian police. Phew. I was a little worried he'd march over and start going us a hard time.

3. Witnessing an incessant yelling fit by an irate Chinese woman in front of one of the main tourist attractions. This includes the arm smack laid down by her fed-up husband. This all took place at our tour group's meeting place. When we arrived a woman (not in our group) was yelling angrily at about five men sitting on the edge of a monument. She continued to yell for a good five minutes before wandering over to a man on the other side of the monument, assumedly her husband. They exchanged some angry words and as she went to return to her original spot, the man gave her a good slap on the arm. This didn't prevent her from continuing to make a scene. The group agreed that she was very entertaining in a "we're embarrassed for you" kind of way.

4. Sweating our butts off last night because we didn't realize we had air conditioning. Enough said. Four-and-a-half university degrees don't get you much common sense sometimes. (I did a happy dance when I discovered a remote with the words "fan" and "cool" on it.) Our second night sleeping was much cooler than the first.

5. Being a tourist. Today was our hardest day yet, and it falls under the "ouch" category as our feet were ready to fall off by the time we got back to the hotel.

We started the day off by heading out on the metro to see some amazing skyscrapers, three of seven similar buildings nicknamed the Seven Sisters. They were built by Stalin to fill Moscow's skyscraper gap, as he felt Moscow was lagging in this department when compared to America. While the seven are quite similar, each has it's own character. They have also been nicknamed the wedding cakes due to the tiers and the icing-like look of the stonework. So far we have seen five of the seven, including the Ministry of Foreign Affairs, the Transport Ministry, a couple of hotels, and Moscow University. One of these buildings was also the site of our first and only geocache find (as of now) in Moscow.

After a morning on our own, we met up with our tour group and headed in to see the old preserved corpse of Lenin. We all kind of wondered at the irony of the whole situation and why the Russian people would idolize a man who started off one of the darker periods of their history. Nonetheless this was a very unique experience. We'd all read scary tidbits about the viewing: no talking, don't put your hands in your pockets, no stopping as you walk by...and we could take nothing but a wallet in with us. The line was surprisingly short and quick moving. In just a few minutes we'd descended into the dimly lit mausoleum and were making our way around an almost 100 year old dead body. (Lenin died of a stroke in 1924 and has been resting in the Red Square ever since, save a quick vacation in Siberia during WWII.) He looked quite fake, straight out of a Madame Tussaud wax museum. I almost expected Michael Jackson or Elvis to be around the corner. Lenin's left hand looked a little worse for wear, but all in all his wipe down every few days and almost yearly wax and chemical treatment have been doing him well. It felt like we blew through the mausoleum, but I was ok with that. I didn't need to stare at a pickled body for any longer than that. We were lucky to get in as it had been closed for about two weeks before our arrival.

Next we headed into the Red Square and received a mini history lesson from our dynamic and knowledgeable local tour guide Olga. She pointed out the buildings around the Red Square (more on some of those later) and explained some of the more pivotal moments in Russian history. She was very easy to listen to, despite our aching feet and sweating brows.

Then off to the Kremlin. Kremlin is the Russian word for fortress. The one in Moscow consists of a high redbrick wall with about 20 guard towers. Inside are many churches and government buildings (the parliament, the senate, the president's offices). Also here is the world's largest bell, commissioned by Russian empress Anna Ivanovna in the 1730s. As the bell was cooling, cold water was poured on it and an 11-ton chunk broke off. As a result it has never rung. Beside the Tsar Bell is the Tsar Cannon, which funny enough has never been fired. There is a pile of cannon balls in front of it; however, they are just for show as they are too big to actually fit in the cannon.

When walking around the Kremlin you have to stick to the sidewalks and roped in areas; otherwise, military men with loud whistles and fancy batons will wave and flail until you get back in bounds. None of us discovered this the hard way, although it was amusing to watch other tourists get put in their place. :-)

Our final stop in the Kremlin was the Armoury, a collection of the most precious treasures in all of Russia. There were many formal coronation dresses, thrones, carriages, obviously lots of armour and weapons, and other treasures belonging and given to the royalty. Kim and I were most excited to see the Fabergé eggs, bejeweled Easter eggs exchanged by the tsar and tsarina at Easter. The tour was amazing, but by this point our feet were aching and we were tired, thirsty, and hungry.

After a quick stop to refuel, Kim and I headed off to find another of the Seven Sisters, an adventure that ended in an extremely long walk home. We made it back to the hotel and crashed.

Tomorrow we are off to Suzdal by bus. More to come after our relaxing stay in this important historical town.

Pictures below include two of the Seven Sisters, the Russian police in the Red Square, the Tsar Bell that has never rung, and a very exhausted Kim and Cheryl by the Moscow River.

TTFN

Day 2, Moscow: Fancy

So today's theme is fancy. It all started this morning when Kim decided to wear a skirt, and I put lipstick on. I'll relate our adventures to what is "fancy" and what isn't.

1. The mullet. This one is also a "lesson learned" from yesterday: the mullet is alive and well and quite fancy here in Moscow. They seem to come in many shapes and sizes, on many different types of men and boys (and women too). It's all business in the front and party in the back here in the capital.

2. Russian women. The dress code here is a bit more formal than at home. The average Russian woman, young or old, is wearing a skirt or dress, high heels or fancy flats, makeup and jewelry. Sporty/casual/touristy Cheryl does not fit in. That's ok, I'm walking far too much to kick it up a notch in the fashion department.

3. The Metro. Kim and I spent the morning riding the subway (less than $1 per ride!!). We took one of the main lines that loops around the downtown and got off at every stop. The stations are really quite elegantly decorated and each has its own character. You feel more like you're in a grand palace than riding the subway. Trivia: Over than 9 million people ride the metro in Moscow each day. That's more than NYC and London combined.

4. The State History Museum. The building this museum is in impressed a very tired Kim and an exhausted me more than the actual artifacts inside. Each room is decorated differently and has high beautifully painted ceilings and massive doorways. No photos allowed though. Security was a little tight getting in but our bags contained nothing suspect. We breezed by the ancient tools and fossils, enjoyed the portraits of famous tzars and emperors, loved the collection of icons (in the Russian Orthodox sense), but what really had us in awe was how much the museum contained. Considering the turbulent history of this country, it's perhaps nothing less than a miracle that so many items were kept safe. Ten points for Russia.

5. Our hotel. We checked out of our hostel and checked in to the hotel where our tour group is staying. Although it's not particularly fancy, it's a step up from Godzillas. We have our own bathroom and reliable WiFi. There's a little bar on the main floor, where I'm sitting now enjoying a beer after a long day touring.

6. The paint jobs on some cars. I've noticed what I hope are some interesting ads painted on cars like the one in the photo below. Also in this category would be the car completely covered in skulls and one that looked like it had been painted in chalkboard paint. Funny thing is none of these cars have words on them, so maybe they are just extreme fashion statements?

7. Buskers. We were walking down a pedestrian mall and I guess I was a little too close to this mime-clown busker. He got me good by snapping a Chinese finger yo-yo in my face. I made a spectacle of myself by jumping and letting a little yelp escape. Not fancy, but made it on my list nonetheless.

8. Getting dripped on constantly. Again, this contributes to my un-fanciness. Not sure what the mysterious liquid source is, but Kim and I keep hoping that the falling droplets are just from air conditioners. I've decided I don't want to look up to find out for sure. After all, is ignorance not bliss?

On that note I'll sign off. We were out wandering and relaxing until 11:30; obviously we are beat and tomorrow is a big day.

TTFN

Day 1, Moscow: Lessons learned

Today was a big day! Up at 4 (darn sleep schedule) and now heading to bed at about 8. I'm loving Moscow. It's incredibly diverse, old buildings that seem to be abandoned but aren't, cars that should have been abandoned but somehow still run, the very rich and the very poor, and the expensive and the cheap. Wow. Kim and I trekked our butts all over town and now we are exhausted...but looking forward to another full day tomorrow.

For now I'll sum up some experiences by sharing the important Muscovite lessons I learned today.

1. Unlike in many cities, in Moscow, the strategy of taking two rights to arrive at a destination and then taking another two rights to return to the start afterwards DOES NOT WORK. Do not be fooled by the squarish looking block on the map. You will end up "lost" and wandering far out of your way to get back on track.

2. The Cyrillic alphabet, although it shares some characters with our alphabet, is completely different. While pronouncing things as they seem to read and giggling about it is highly entertaining (and probably won't get old), it won't get you anywhere in the long run. LEARN the ALPHABET.

3. The little red man with his hands on his hips (see below) means DO NOT WALK, and the countdown is telling you how long you have to wait before the friendly green man with the sexy strut (see below) gives you the go ahead.

4. Super is a super adjective.

5. When a cashier is yelling numbers at you, just keep putting down more different bills and coins until she stops. Then count your change CAREFULLY.

6. Surprisingly, Russian food can be quite tasty. (More to come later in a special food and beverage issue.)

7. The pigeons here are even dumber (or smarter?) than those at home. They are not frightened by anything.

8. Lack if sleep will make you loopy and will cause fits of laughter over things that just might not be all that funny.

9. It's hard to go to sleep when it's light out. Channel your seven-year-old self to help with that one.

That's all for now! Other photos are: Kim's little beer and my big beer, St. Basil's Cathedral in the Red Square and me with a creepy statue at the Moscow Museum of Modern Art.

TTFN,
C

It's 4 am...

Arrived safely in Moscow and no problems to report. I managed to get some sleep on the first flight, despite my seatmate who was suffering from a severe case of ADD. Had to kill a couple hours in Frankfurt, and I managed to sleep a bit more, lounged across four chairs in the waiting area.

My flight from Frankfurt to Moscow was great, despite a minor delay. So much leg room, an empty seat beside me, and food that actually tasted like food! Didn't know flying could be so good. :-)

Made it through customs quickly, grabbed my bag, then met my wacky "super" driver. His name was Alexey, and he just looooooves America. I think he was a little disappointed to hear I was not from the great US of A. He quickly took me to his super car (not so super, but he had an interesting collection of random figurines and stickers which I can assume were gifts from previous passengers), told me we had super far to go, that there's super traffic in Moscow and then asked me if I liked Michael Jackson. I said yes, to which he replied, not surprisingly, "super".

It was a very interesting drive and I'm sure I was wide-eyed and mouth-a-gaping for the duration. More on my impressions later.

I arrived at the hostel, had a shower and got some sleep. Woke up around 3 and now I'm patiently awaiting the arrival of Kim. She should be here any moment, fingers crossed.

I'm not sure the sun ever set as it was still light when I drifted off at 11 and now it's 4:30 and practically completely light out. This and the jet lag will definitely play with my internal clock.

As for now, I'm safe and sound and ready for the real fun to start! TTFN

A series of questions?

(Apologies for the reposting....I apparently deleted my two posts. I stink at blogging.)

As the excitement mounts, the stress increases. I am still in a state of disbelief that two weeks today I will be heading on this fantastic trip. I began planning (i.e. choosing dates, booking tickets, tours, and transportation) in January and back then, I felt as though I had all the time in the world. I did a decent job of overcoming my procrastinating habits and forcing myself to remain on top of things, but now my head is spinning out of control. Every day I think of another loose end that needs to be dealt with or a detail that months ago seemed minor and now is a little more pressing. As a result, I am finding myself lying in bed at night pondering the many variables and unanswered questions....

Will I remember all of my power cords and chargers? For my phone? For my GPSr? For my camera? For my batteries?
Can we manage to get back to Moscow from Saint Petersburg on the train? How am I going to book this ticket when I speak no Russian and have no idea about the Cyrillic alphabet?
Will I really get arrested just like Kim seems to think I will? :-)
How scary are the Russian police? Will I end up on "Locked Up Abroad"? (Thanks Alia for planting that seed in my head....)
How will I ever manage to pull off my conference presentation (i.e. the main point of this trip) at 3pm when I arrive in Belfast at 5am after travelling all night?
How much cash do I need? How will I manage the currency-cluster this trip is turning into (Euros, Pounds, Rubles, Lira)?
Will this trip convert me to vodka?
Will I be able to eat everything Baris has planned for us to eat in Instanbul?

And, rather than staying at home, putting my nose to the grindstone, and figuring out these answers, I find myself sitting in Altoona, PA, in my sister's backyard...blogging. Clearly this visit was well-timed. :-) (In fact, maybe it was, considering I've managed to get more thesising done here in the past two days than during the past two weeks in Ottawa. Oh, and the air conditioning is so nice (not to mention my lovely hosts).....this was a good idea after all.)

Yesterday's feat was reserving a taxi from the airport in Moscow to my hostel...one more thing of the list (and another $60 well spent). I think it's time to make a list and prioritize. Let's just hope my head doesn't explode in the process. :-)

TTFN

I'm leavin', on a jet plane...

Obviously all my bags are packed. If they weren't by now I'd be in serious trouble. I had a fairly relaxing day, I only had to do a couple minor errands, wash some clothes and then put everything in my suitcase. I was ready about 3 hours early and managed to squeeze in a quick nap! Luckily Ed was able to drive me to the airport.

So far my adventure is adventureless, but that's not a bad thing considering making it past airport security is about the only thing I've done. Except for my dumbass move of the day...forgetting my passport in the photocopier at the library...for a whole 30 seconds. Good thing the biblio's deserted in the summer. Whew!

I got a kick out of the kid in line behind me at the airport yelling "Boat! Boat! Boat!" I think his parents should've opted for the boat, would've been less expensive!


An now for some random closing thoughts:

Sign at Tim Hortons in English: Yours. Truly. Translation? Merci! À bientôt!

Did you know you can buy a flipping iPad from a vending machine? Holy moly!

Ottawa was named the #1 airport in North America last year.

I'm eating chili and it's nearly 40 degrees out.

The first song on my iPod on shuffle was "Two Tickets to Paradise" by Eddie Money. Ha. I don't have two tickets, just one. And it's not to paradise, but it's gonna be awesome. :-)

The countdown is on....

Well, my history of blogging might lead you to believe that I will not be updating this regularly. But you're wrong. I'm 100% dedicated to staying on top of this. Here you will find tidbits from my summer adventures on what has been dubbed the "East Meets West" tour.

Itinerary as follows:
July 6: depart Ottawa for Moscow
July 7-23: Moscow and Saint Petersburg
July 24-28: Belfast
July 28-30: Dublin
July 31-August 7: Istanbul

This means my departure date is just 18 days away. Holy $*@&! I've just about got everything under control - at least the major stuff. I still have some last minute shopping to get done and some minor transportation to book, but otherwise I'm pretty much set.

I'm heading to the Russian Consulate in a few minutes to (hopefully) pick up my passport and visa. After my very interesting non-verbal exchanges with the employee last time, I'm a little worried! His smile was quite encouraging, so I'll take that as a good sign. Wish me luck!